I so much did NOT look forward to this call

Today I had to call Sky to remove an element from my package and also to order a new sky Q box because the Sky Plus box is now redundant.

I hesitated for two weeks before calling because my antipathy to Sky as a system is so great I really had to fight to overcome it. Basically the website has been dumbed down so much that outside certain lowest common denominator parameters you cannot get any help. The chat bot did not understand my question that I wanted to remove an item from the  monthly bill.

You have a choice of calling the normal number which is 0800 1512747. Good luck with that make a coffee and sip it while you wait. You will first of all have to speak to a robot to determine your identity and what you want. The aim is to encourage as many people as possible not to need to speak to a human being. Sky take this to a fine art.

I was advised by a sales representative on duty in the center of Bristol that I should call the cancellation number i.e. if you want to cancel the service because I was more likely to get a quick response as indeed I did. That number is 03332 02 21 35.

After 10 minutes I’ve got through to a living person and I knew that I was speaking to someone in India. The real problem is that although they can speak English their interpretation and usage of it is very robotic; they think in small packets. I suspect it is because of the way they were trained.

I became known as Mr Brian.

I understand that they have to be thorough and make sure the customer understands everything but the robotic tone of the person and requesting the same information so many times for example, my address and my preferred phone number, takes any joy there might have been out of the conversation.

They are obliged to read the new terms and conditions which again I understand. They sent it for me to read on an email but it was not possible to actually read it and the email referred me back to the agent. I was on the phone for 32 minutes. Every minute or so the agent would say to me ‘please hang on’ and I would have to wait between one and two minutes for him to do whatever he was doing.

Fortunately I was calling from a situation with ideal circumstances, had I been calling from let’s say a public place then it would have been a very stressful experience.  All I was asking was to take away my Skype phone weekend and evening calls aspect and deliver a new Q box.

I know that if I was speaking to someone in the UK they would zip through it in 10 minutes. Without empathy from the other party  the experience is agonizingly prolonged. I’m not sure if Virgin is any better.

I know that TrustPilot says that 92% of the reviews on Sky service are 1 star so that should tell you something.

Anyway, job done and fingers crossed. Any changes in the contract mean that you have to renew for another 24 months which I can live with – just about.

If the world ends before 24 months then it won’t really matter and Q box has the advantage of being able to use a microphone to dictate what you want the TV to do in other words for example ‘view channel 34’ or ‘go to YouTube’.

MOT check

I have to go through this increasingly tedious activity once per year but I can see why it is needed. This year I needed three new tires, lights repaired and a bumper attached more firmly.

It could have been worse for a car over 20 years old and I know that it’s now worth about £750 so if I have to replace an engine or gearbox or anything major I might as well give away the car and buy another one. I don’t want to be taxed to death anyway and what with the threatened increases in April my £31.50 per month will probably rise. They will put a breathing tax on us next.