Somone having a rant about …. everything

Oh, I gota rant about the absolute plague of scammers in the UK—it’s like they’ve turned conning people into a national sport, and they’re all competing for gold!

You’ve got these slimy toerags calling you up, pretending to be from “HMRC” or “your bank,” with accents so dodgy they sound like they’ve been practicing English from a pirated VHS of EastEnders. “Ello mate, we’ve frozen your account ‘cos of suspicious activity—send us your PIN or we’ll nick your life savings!”
We could reply: Yeah, nice try, Darren from a bedsit in Croydon, I’m not falling for that.

Then there’s the text message brigade—every day it’s “Congratulations, you’ve won a free iPhone 17!” or “Your parcel’s stuck at the depot, pay £2.99 to release it.”

We could reply: Mate, I haven’t ordered anything, and the iPhone 17 doesn’t even exist yet—you’re not just scamming me, you’re scamming the laws of time!

And don’t get me started on the email phishing lot. “Dear valued customer, your Netflix is about to expire, click this link that looks like it was coded in 1998 and smells like a virus.” Valued customer?

We could reply: You don’t even know my name, you absolute moppet.

The worst part?

They’re everywhere—popping up like whack-a-moles on WhatsApp, Facebook Marketplace, even cold-calling your nan to flog her some “premium roof insulation” that’s just loft fluff they nicked from B&Q.

I swear, half of them aren’t even clever—just banking on you being too polite to hang up. “Oh, sorry, I don’t think my internet’s been hacked—

You could react: ” No, Barbara, slam the phone down, they’re not BT, they’re a bloke in a tracksuit with a burner phone!

It’s gotten so bad you can’t even trust a “For Sale” sign anymore—£50 for a sofa? Nah, that’s a scam to lure you into a van with no windows.

Remedy?

Honestly, if I could round them all up, I’d ship ‘em off to a deserted island with nothing but their fake “Rolex” watches and a dodgy Wi-Fi signal—let’s see how they like being scammed by seagulls.

Rant over—now excuse me while I double-check this “free tea voucher” I just got in the post. Probably a trap.

What about the romance scam?

However, my beloved correspondent Sam has forgotten about another type of scam, the romance scam. Is that worth a rant?

If someone has won their way into your heart over a period of months and then just needs to borrow some money for a heart operation and then some money because their car has broken down and you’ve never even met them then you deserve all you get so I would have thought the person to rant to is yourself for your own stupidity.

What is this word ‘rant’?

The word “rant” originates from the Dutch word “ranten,” which means “to talk foolishly” or “to rave,” essentially describing a loud, uncontrolled, and often angry speech; the first recorded usage of “rant” in English was around the late 16th century, coinciding with a religious sect called the “Ranters” who were known for their extreme and boisterous preaching.

To identify this word on a scale of emotions  I suggest we look at some similar words to see if we can spot any difference.

Hold forth this is about talking at length, assertively or even tediously about a subject for example a famous poet was holding forth, surrounded by admiring young writers and critics

a tirade. A tirade describes any long, critical speech

pontificate to pontificate express one’s opinions in a pompous and dogmatic way

shout it’s about uttering a loud cry typically as an expression of a strong emotion so you could shout for joy or shout for help

rant and rave – this is about shouting and complaining angrily and at length so we could say ‘stop ranting and raving for a minute and start being honest with yourself’

Fulminate this word is not used so frequently these days but it’s about fulminating against something immoral for example ‘the evils of our time’ or simply exploding violently or flash like lightning

we can harangue someone or indeed be around and we could say that someone was harangued on social media for their views. This word appears to have evolved from the old Italian word arranger, probably from the word for a public square or place for public speaking but later on it became to mean a strong nasty rent.
A harrangue is particularly bombastic, usually inflaming the passions of listeners and is a primary tool of the demagogue.

What distinguishes a rant from other similar expressions

A rant is primarily an instrument of catharsis, allowing the speaker to blow off steam, but not necessarily to persuade anyone to do anything

Does a rant have value?  I suspect it has considerable value and you don’t even have to have someone else around though it may help. It’s the moment to get everything off your chest. It’s the moment for complaining to God and anyone else who will listen.

You’re not looking for any advice or condolences just someone to confide in and when it’s done it’s done that’s it.  Why not shout things out to the world? What harm can come?

What is the opposite of ranting?

To understand a word it is often useful to look at its opposite. However, the antonyms are not particularly inspiring,

we can stifle, which can make someone unable to breathe properly, we can be stifled by fumes or we could stop ourselves reacting
we can extinguish which means we can put an end to or destroy for example hope

we can suppress, which means prevent the development, action, or expression of a feeling or impulse
we can restrain which means prevent someone or something from doing something or keep under control or within limits our emotions

Oh no – not the British reserve again

US British people have the tendency to be restrained anyway so I’m not quite sure what an embellishment of this quality will do for us. I suspect it will morph into another form and possibly do internal harm So what is the point.

I have said for many years now that it’s ‘better out than in’ and even if it’s a bit illogical and volcanic then bringing out a reaction to an emotion long buried could have a great effect and you would typically say afterwards, well ‘I feel better for having had a rant’ a bit like people say ‘I feel better after having had a good cry.’.

ANYTHING it’s better than a plastic smile. Give me real emotions any day and we might break through our shell and become authentic people.