For no particular reason my attention has been focused on giving thanks. It was sparked off by someone saying on a video that we should give thanks for our life.

I have heard this dozens of times recently, in spite of all the mayhem, but this time the word jumped out at me which is the universe telling me to get on with it and write something.

I believe that giving thanks is transformative to the psychology both individually and collectively.

I’m not talking about giving thanks in a masochistic way when everything is against you and an attempt at self programming – with a fixed smile on your face – but a heartfelt realization that we are more than our physical body and we’ve been granted the great gift of life.

By the way, I don’t intend to preach and ‘drone on’.  I’m just telling you what my experience is and what I think, in the same way that I would expect you to do the same, my dear readers. No acting ability is required to keep this diary going. It’s just my stuff coming out.

Also I declare that

# I’m not paid by anyone to have a particular opinion
# I’m not trying to force any point of view down someone’s throat, or more accurately in their brain.
# I’m not saying that I’m better than you. We are all unique. Period.

I’m just reporting a state of play in my psyche after these 80 years.

What is the origin of the word ‘thanks’?

From Google

In old English, the word thank primarily meant a thought over time.

the word came to mean favourable thought or feeling, goodwill’

by the Middle Ages it came to mean ‘kindly thought or feeling entertained towards anyone for favour or services received’

the word thanks has been in use since the middle of the 13th century

Overall – the word thank is related to the words think and thought

Reading this for the first time I realized how trivialised and thoughtless the application of this word has become.

The word ‘thanks’ is used in a social context for letting someone pass by which I suppose is a legitimate use,  or more puzzlingly thanks for not doing something for example for not stepping in my way in a crowded situation.

We always thank the bus driver at the end of a journey but that is Somerset for you. A local peculiarity is that we use the appellation ‘drive’ for the driver. This falls short of the term used by shop assistants who call everyone ‘my lovely’. Don’t ask me why because I don’t feel particularly lovely most of the time.

This does not happen in London because some buses enable people to enter through three doors so no personal relationship, however fleeting, is built with the driver. It must be a nightmare driving a London bus and I reckon you have to get very thick skinned in order to survive.

The value of giving thanks

Giving thanks or showing appreciation to others is what distinguishes humans from robots.

I’m going to turn my attention now to interaction between people, not man and his God. In other words, horizontal thanks not vertical thanks (that’s an interdimensional joke).

In what circumstances do people thank each other?

#  When I draw someone’s attention to the fact they’ve dropped something, they thank me. I could have said nothing and ‘passed by on the other side’ but that in my view would have shown disrespect for other people because I  became aware something and I did not share it. They appreciate it.

# When I see someone looking puzzled holding a street map upside down I will always try and figure out where they are going. It is easy in the City of Bath because everything worth seeing is within a mile or so, so if they are at the station you just point north. These are simple Street things that everyone in my view should take into consideration.

# if I have one or two items in the supermarket queue and the person in front of me has 50 items and they nod me past I do thank them because they have shown consideration to my situation and compared it with their own

What about the more subtle factors?

If someone did something for you perhaps going out of their way to do so did you think to thank them (I make a play with words here because as we see above, the origin of the word ‘thank’ is to ‘think’).

Let’s make this quite clear, some people have never been educated that they should thank someone and they take everything for granted. Do not take it personally. Some people are so full of pain and damage, they can only think of their own survival. ‘Love them and leave them’ is my comment.

The therapeutic value of thanking someone is very great especially appreciating the general attitude and behavior, not necessarily something they have done in a particular instance.

For example if I was in a food bank I would say to the server, thank you for the food which will keep me going for the next three days but also go the extra mile and say  I am so grateful that people like you continue against all the odds. So you are acknowledging their place in society.

On TV last night I saw a professional man from Cornwall unable to work as a manager. Someone went along to present a food box to him.

He was obviously very well educated but confessed that he even had great difficulty in maintaining himself, basically because the had nothing to do, and his self-respect was suffering. It almost took too much effort to shave.

My heart went out to him and it could happen to anyone.

Don’t be fooled. Circumstances can change without notice and you don’t get a text message warning you. Example –  death of loved one and loss of your job in short order.

Our western society is falling apart in spadefuls, and by the way you ain’t seen nothing yet so anything we can do to keep the tide from coming up is really appreciated at a deep level.

Also, thanking people does us good at a cellular level. Dopamine is involved (look it up).  This does not happen when you try to feel good through drinking alcohol, it’s not the same department.  I’m not saying you do good just to get high, it’s just an incidental effect.

Speaking personally, I maintain sites on certain medical procedures, 5G, apart from my diary site which are reading now. I must have spent thousands of hours over the years populating the sites. If I get heartfelt thanks once every six months I’m doing well. It is not in the British personality to be effusive about  thanks.

I’m doing it because it is within me to do it, in the same way that an artist has an Image within them but they want to translate to the physical plane.

What does the Bible say about giving thanks?

Just looking at the Bible as a textbook we can see many references of which I will give a few. Anyone can go and look this up themselves but I’m just telling you the ones that jump out at me

” do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”
I’m drawn by this because God does not need our thanks but the appropriate acknowledgement arising from orientation is what Saint Paul is saying here.

Jesus frequently emphasised the importance of a grateful heart, viewing it as a virtue that goes beyond mere politeness. The essence lies in recognising blessings and expressing appreciation for the abundance bestowed upon us.

I quite like the quote out of Psalm 100 verse 4 enter into his gates with Thanksgiving, and into his court with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

I like the tough tone of this video called ‘The power of thankfulness‘ by Philip Cameron.

Give thanks anyway

I rather like this idea of generic thanking.

For example, you’re going to a meeting where you don’t know anyone I would give thanks in advance that I have an opportunity to meet people I would not otherwise have done and perhaps finding something in common

If you miss an appointment because you failed to note it in your diary, give thanks that you have learned through this experience to be more careful in future which could save you from a worse fate.

If I plant a seed in my allotment and it does not grow as I expected, give thanks for the experience and try and learn from it Why not turn everything into thanks?

If a friend lets me down then give thanks for those you do know as friends. Practically anything can be turned on its head.

And if you do not forgive people what happens, you become full of anger which is one of the so called Seven deadly sins.,You don’t have to believe in the Bible to see the effect it has on people turning them bitter, resentful and pessimistic. What is the point of that?

I meet people who have not forgiven or given thanks for their partnership of 20 years before they divorced. The pain of the divorce is still living in them, it has not been forgiven. Why not give thanks for what you have learned and give thanks that you are able to move on.

Oh and can we give thanks for the sounds of nature, birds singing in the trees?

Thank you for being there

Have we given verbal thanks to those in our lives who have helped us or have we taken them for granted? I hope I’m not being preachy here I’m just being pragmatic and realistic. Were we thoughtless? It’s probably not too late to make amends.

Why not call people out of the blue and just say straight out that you appreciate the fact that that they are in your lives and your life is the richer for it. That will make their day.

Three rules of giving thanks

Rule 1 – give thanks
Rule 2 – give more thanks
Rule 3 – continue to give thanks to more people