What a lovely picture – that’s why I inserted it. Does there have to be a ‘reason’?

The delights of social media

I just love nosing around social media including Facebook and picking up sayings from people. I’ve come across one that’s very helpful which reads as follows

Empathy without boundaries is self destruction.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean unconditional tolerance.
You have got to train your boundaries to be stronger than your soft heart,
and your mind to be stronger than your feelings.
Otherwise, you’ll be drained.
So be kind and take no ****

Sometimes I come across things just when I’m ready to hear them and I such material is part of my plan to move forward in my understanding irrespective of the circumstances of the world. If I have not learnt one new thing each day I feel I’m going to be sucked back into the mass mind.

On balance I’m glad

Technology has arrived because it gives us an opportunity to meet brainy people who can contribute to our understanding of our position in the universe. I was reminded of this when I watched the video below. When I was young it was the era of the encyclopedia salesman whose volumes were the main author of knowledge and wisdom and now all I do is talk to my mobile phone to get the same information in a fraction of the time.

What Changes Happen in a Brain That Is Faithful, Spiritual, Mindful? American neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Newberg explains how the brain changes when a person enters spiritual states of being.

Here is a video about someone with moral courage and complete integrity. Our pain is insignificant compared with our duty. Willing to pay any price to protect the oppressed.
Senior Anser Allah official on why Yemen fought for Gaza. We don’t see many like him these days do we?

Thoughts on how to ask someone to do something.

This may seem simple as pie but actually when you get down to it, it is quite a subtle art.

The train of thought was occasioned by me asking my web designer to do some work on a couple of my websites.

We have to remember that we are not the only customer or shall we say we are not only entity that makes a demand on someone’s time. When I call someone on the phone I ask them if it is a good time and you can normally tell by the tone of voice whether they are harassed or whether they can give you the time and space that you need.

Oh yes and one other point it doesn’t do any harm to ask people how they are and how they are doing,  in other words a catch up. They can well guess why you were calling but it doesn’t hurt to treat them as human beings first and volunteers second.

Excuse me for stating the blindingly obvious but I’m afraid it is not done as often as it should be.

I have called people up not knowing that they are driving. They should not have answered the phone but they did because they wanted to hear from me so I listened to noises in the background and decide that another time is better and this is much appreciated

If I sense that it is not a good time I asked them when would be a good time to call and we normally come to an agreement. I noticed that some people will try to help if they possibly can but if their mind is not fully on the topic then you’re not going to have a very good quality conversation.

A combination of the spoken and the written word

In giving instructions there is a combination of the written word and the spoken word and I think the two should function like a sandwich. I decided therefore to write to my designer giving him a shopping list, phoning him up to say that I had sent it, and then run through it and discuss it.

I remember seeing the film ‘Lost in Translation’ with Bill Murray and this reminds me that you can mean something with a certain set at words but the person who receives it will understand it in a slightly different way. When you’re draw their attention to it they say ‘ oh I see, I didn’t quite understand that’.

One thing that people forget is to compose themselves before making a telephone call asking people to do something. If you are harassed or under pressure or who have been put upon this comes across in your voice in a more sharp tone and this is not the sort of invitation background that is productive

So my procedure is as follows.

# I identify that are change needs to be made.
# I do what I can on my own account so I don’t have to ask other people’s help unnecessarily
# After having done what I can I then commit my shopping list to paper.
# If I cannot do that then I make a list and speak to them but normally send a list
# I will call them to make sure they understand my requirements.
NB This is not an insult to their intelligence; it just makes sure that our mental alignments are concomitant.
# Knowing that they will complete the work when they have the time I do not hassle them asking them how they’re getting on unless it is an acutely time sensitive thing and time is running out.

In my experience, pursuing people does not increase the quality of work. I am not talking about people you haven’t dealt with before who are an unknown quantity. I’m talking about people who’s performance you trust.

Asking Volunteers

We now come to another topic and that is asking volunteers to do something, and this as they say is a completely different kettle of fish.

It is easiest with long term arrangements for example grandmother looking after children. They have already agreed to say yes but I still say that the older generation is exploited and that their contribution should not be taken for granted

You have to strike a balance between the importance of the job and the fact that they are doing it basically out of their own good will and heart.

There is always the question, what is in it for me? I would say to the volunteer that they can look forward to plenty of support and networking events of people on their own wavelength.

I would tend to use the fourth person ‘we’ and emphasize the vision of what needs to be done and the people who will benefit. I have frequently come across cases of the ‘willing horse’, the person who cannot say no. They are normally overloaded.

With existing volunteers particularly those who know you,  you should typically say, I don’t know whether you’ve got the time – in other words you don’t assume anything – but could you just help us out with…… As someone else has called in sick.

Giving thanks!!!!

It is absolutely vital to appreciate the volunteers for what they do. Even if you are a paid person it’s still important.

I remember a taxi driver contact saying he had worked for a firm for 20 years and on his 20th anniversary no one from the management bothered to thank him for his work and indeed they started ignoring him and his advice say it was a double insult

Once bitterness and resentment has set in, it is too late to say nice words or beg people. So does it cost so much to say how much you appreciate their effort? That you could not run the place so well without them? That you received a phone call from someone saying how much they’re work helped fill in an empty gap in their life?