Asking AI What to do

It is all too easy these days to consult Chat GBT, co-pilot, Gemini etc and let it do your thinking for you so I have pasted the response I got from Gemini at the bottom of this post and meanwhile I have written from my heart what I have observed to be true in my life, this time around, on this planet. The implications of that statement will be more obvious to some than others but let’s leave that one for now.

We arrived on this planet courtesy of the womb of a woman and we will leave this planet at a time determined by the almighty over which we have in my view very little control. In the meantime I believe we are here to learn lessons, to live life to the full. I cannot embrace any view that excludes the idea of life continuing after the death of this mortal shell that we occupy. The first 100 videos on near death experiences convinced me.

This may seem a strange thing to say but when I was growing up and living with my parents until the age of 18, I regarded myself as living on my own. Okay my basic needs were met but I never had the feeling of togetherness or familyness for various psychological reasons. I more or less lived on my own until the age of 30 when I met someone in Germany who was actually a German with sense of humour to match (don’t start me on that one).

Feeling on ones own in a relationship

We had a marriage lasting 14 years which included the arrival of two children. Although I shared a bed with someone I still felt I was on my own and in the latter stages of the relationship when I felt alienated and things fell apart, I felt even more on my own.

What I’m saying is that feeling of being alone do not depend as much as we might think on the presence of someone else in our life; I think it’s a question of being understood and recognized as a human being.

This is as likely to happen if you are so called ‘living on your own than’ than if you’re living with someone.

We can all to go out into the marketplace and interact with people, find kindred spirits, form relationships and enjoy them but its what happens chez nous that matters.

My friend who lives up north has a full diary certainly at weekends and has joined all sorts of associations and clubs for walking and climbing and caving and so far as I can see he is living a full life.

I contrast this with couples I know where one of them is working long hours and they very seldom see anything of each other and a relationship that appears to be loveless. Both partners seem overwhelmed by financial situations and responsibilities which leaves them little time for enjoying themselves, for recreation, for refreshment – even for catching up with each other.

Opposites attract? – Oh really?

There’s one bit of rubbish that I used to hear more of and that was ‘opposites attract’.  Oh really? So if someone is generous and someone else is mean then is that a basis for attraction? If someone loves a family, or the thought of having a family, and the other one does not is that attractive?   OK So if someone is good at cooking and this other is not, that is complimentaryness not opposition

Does the corollary apply following the magnetism analogy? If opposite polls attract then do like poles repel? Then when you get two generous people together are they supposed to repel?  I think this goes back to a time when not much was known about psychology

Some people find it difficult to live on their own. I once met a lady in Finland who strangely had to sleep on one side of the bed because lying in the middle of a bed reminded her too much that there was no one to share with on an intimate level.

I can be a little bit trite and say that I know about as many people who are married who would like to be independent and single, as I meet single people who would like to be in a relationship.

Get married to yourself?

I have often joked to people that the best person to be married to is yourself and the rest is a bonus. I recall that one lady did this and had a real service and hats off to her the being so courageous to express something that we should all need to hear. There are many examples that can be found on the internet but this is one https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8rdvydll6zo

Even if you’re not looking for someone the principle is applicable: that we need to accept ourselves and not to be too hard on ourselves and not try to be perfect.  There is an idea that I first came across many years ago of the idea of the magic helper who would somehow rescue us from our introspective and searching nature and bring us into a new realm of happiness.

Insofar as inner problems have not been attended to, this is going to be a wild goose chase with a sting in the tail.  Next time you go out and about and talk to people, check out those who you know to be single with those who you know to be in a relationship or married.

Do you notice that the single ones are more downhearted or more free? Do you know that the married ones are happier? I have met single people whose diaries are so full and whose friends are so numerous that they are living a full and satisfactory life; I’ve known married people who might as well be in prison for all the joy they have.

I reckon the main factor that binds people is understanding and being understood. To have such a person in your life is a privilege – some would say a necessity. If it was a choice between being misunderstood or being single I would choose the latter anytime.

My point is that single or married you need to develop social skills and not rely on someone to get you out of a hole, possibly composed of self-pity and pride, as the only person that can do this is you.

I agree that with older people who have a physical disability it is more difficult to get around. I also agree that people with an invisible impediments such as deafness or agoraphobia or schizophrenia will have more hurdles to surmount but people with such disabilities seem to manage very well.

I think the inner demon is one of self-pity and not using your wonderful mind and creativity to its fullest effect. That is how we as friends can help, encourage and support each other.

This is what AI had to say

Brian:  advice for living on your own?

Co-pilot:  ‘Living on your own can be both exciting and challenging. Here are some tips to help you make the most of the experience:

1. **Budget Wisely**: Track your income and expenses to ensure you’re living within your means. Consider using budgeting apps to help you stay on top of your finances.
2. **Build a Routine**: Establish a daily routine that includes work, exercise, meals, and leisure activities. A consistent schedule can help you stay organized and productive.
3. **Stay Connected**: Make an effort to maintain relationships with friends and family. Regular calls, video chats, and visits can help you feel less isolated.
4. **Safety First**: Ensure your home is secure by installing locks, alarms, and other safety measures. Always be aware of your surroundings.
5. **Learn to Cook**: Preparing your own meals is healthier and more cost-effective than eating out. Start with simple recipes and gradually expand your culinary skills.
6. **Keep Your Space Clean**: A tidy living environment can improve your mood and overall well-being. Establish a cleaning routine to keep your home in order.
7. **Develop a Support Network**: Connect with neighbors, colleagues, or local groups to build a sense of community. Having people to rely on can make a big difference.
8. **Prioritize Self-Care**: Take time to relax, exercise, and engage in activities you enjoy. Self-care is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health.
9. **Stay Informed**: Keep up with local news and community events. Being aware of what’s happening around you can help you feel more connected and informed.
10. **Plan for the Future**: Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself. Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve can keep you motivated and focused.

Embrace the independence and enjoy the journey. You’ve got this! Anything specific you’d like to know more about?