Today’s topic has popped into my mind from nowhere as normally happens. By ‘nowhere’ I mean no particular location. Since the mind is co-existential with the energy field of the whole planet it’s not surprising that ideas filter in from time to time.
As you might expect, there is far more to this question than meets the eye.
The word give on its own is a very broad measure of attitude, to give, bestow, deliver to another, to allot, to commit to, to devote to, to entrust. Part of the German root of this word is ‘ghabh’ which is to give or receive.
Give in means to yield to pressure and was used from the 1570s.
Giving up means that you abandon your pains and objectives because you have lost your drive or cannot see any points in your plans or any belief that they will succeed.
Give (ing) out is to publish or announce or to promulgate and comes from the same century. We can also say of objects that a machine has given out, in other words it stops working To give up is to surrender, resign or quit.
We can say what gives? In other words what is happening and this was first used during the Second World War.
Not to give a hoot or give a damn is to dismiss something as trivial and valueless.
We say something ‘is a given’ when it is assumed, already allotted or predestined. For example it is a given that he accompany his wife on her visits.
I can give away something because I don’t need it or because I’m overcome with large yes and generosity.
I can give and take because I believe that we should be flexible in what we ask of other people.
The phrase give over is not used that often but it’s about collective ownership. ‘ it’s time to give over your snack and share with others’ or in another sense give over stressing about your exam grades, give over comparing yourself with others, You could as well substitute the term ‘hand over’ this has more formal connotations. He handed over the chairmanship to his successor.
You can give way in other words defer to the positioning or activity of someone else. People in Parliament give way to their honorable friend
We can of course give birth or at least so women can. Anyone can give birth to an idea
Christian-type ideas about giving
So let’s see what the old fellow said who lived to 2000 years ago and who knew a thing or two about human nature from which is disciples learned.
When someone asks you for something, give it to him: when someone wants to borrow something, lend it to him.
Give to others, and God will give to you. Indeed, you will receive a full measure, a generous helping, poured into your hands – all that you can hold.
The measure you use for others is the one that God will use for you
Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men to be seen by them
When you do a good deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing
Your father who sees in secret will himself reward you openly.
This symbolizes non-resistance and forgiveness, It was included in the Sermon on the Mount so it must be a pivotal point.
This goes a bit far for me and my mixture of selfish and selfless nature but I will figure it out one day.
My experience of giving in a therapeutic situation
My attitude is that we are not possesses of anything including our own minds which are actually very sophisticated spiritual and mental receiving stations but we are stewards of the things that we have.
So if I have a particular intellectual talent or artistic talent it is being given to me to be the steward of it.
In a way I believe that giving and receiving are the same thing. I do psychic sessions quite frequently and give readings and try and help people along their way. Yes I do get paid for some of it but in other situations I do it for the sheer pleasure and satisfaction of it.
In a good exchange, both the giver and the receiver are ennobled. I as the giver and challenged by slightly different circumstances of the receiver and in which the neuron connections in my brain are enhanced. The receiver is challenged to think in a way that they have not thought of before and hopefully their self-respect will be enhanced.
A Practical Application
It has happened in the past that I offered to do a reading for someone, a type of MOT of their energies. I said to them that I thought they would benefit from it and there would be no charge. So far I have done the work and they have not responded to my communications.
To avoid myself getting annoyed, or feeling slighted, what attitude should I hold?
Looking at the guidelines above I have a particular set of gifts on which I am a custodian. You could say that to whom much is given, much is expected which seems fair enough to me and the Universe has been generous enough to me.<
With this particular person I do not know what is going on in their lives and maybe they are at a stress point dealing with so many other matters that they don’t have time to respond to me.
I must break my habit of assuming the worst. Often, my dystopian prognostications turn out to have no basis in fact. An analogy just occurs to me that a spring pours forth fresh water irrespective of the number of people who drink it.
Some will accept a gift, some will refuse it
So what ever offers I make, some will receive it, some will ignore it, some will throw it back in my face.
I realized that Jesus may have spent 40 days in the wilderness partly to center himself so that what ever trials and tribulations he came across, or more likely came across him, he would have the equanimity to deal with it.
Returning to the topic of giving in the Christian context, I must freely give without expecting a reward.
If I do something which could be classed as a good deed, I should not cash in my chips and tell everyone because I will get a reward on the human level but not on other levels. I believe I should get so adept at giving that I should hardly notice that I’m actually doing this giving and it becomes like breathing.
In other words giving should become instinctive. For example if someone is walking along the street and they tumble, it is my instinct to catch them and prevent them from damaging themselves when they fall. It’s probably the same thing on the more abstract level, I want to catch people before they fall .
However, in mental and spiritual situations we have to respect their free will particularly with regard to a choice and if they decide on a particular course of action is it right to dissuade them? Maybe they are due to learn a karmic lesson by doing something in a way that will harm them and that is the only thing that will teach them a lesson of life.
So I think with those we meet, we can interject or we can offer. Both methods minimize the use of force or saying ‘ if I were you’. May i point out that you are not me and I am not you.
We all have unique journeys some of which involve walking with others, and others involve walking on our own. In a way where we are all on our own because we are all responsible for ourselves never mind if we are in a relationship, or living as a single person.
The same principles apply.
Overall Summing Up of Giving
I think we should give out of the fullness of our heart and not to impress people or because we need to feel important or loved or needed. If someone needs something and we have an ability to give it, then we should do so
I’ve noticed that many people have difficulty in receiving and are embarrassed by it, saying things like you shouldn’t have done this or just mumbling something in an embarrassed fashion.
The person is giving something of themselves or a physical gift because they want to give. Perhaps they feel that you have given them something and they want to return the favor somehow. Accept Graciously.
# Communities flourish best when there is flexibility and giving and receiving.
# Communities flourish best when there is a trade in bartering and we don’t have to rely on money all the time.
# Communities flourish best when people are concerned about the common good and put themselves second.
Love and caring and communal responsibility should do the trick.
If you count what you give, is it really giving?
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