same sex For some reason this has attracted my interest. We speak of heterosexual and  homosexual relationships.  What does this mean?  Does it mean that if I’m attracted to another man I am a homosexual? Does the homosexual bit only fire up when I am sexually attracted to him and want to express it?  I do wonder why there is antipathy towards homosexual people, we could call it homophobia.

The etymology of this word is interesting. It was first used over 100 years ago and originally meant fear of humans:  from the Latin homo, human being, and phobia fear of. The word ‘phobia’ is specifically an irrational fear, horror, or aversion to an imaginary evil.

Even early on the term was used with the tinge of unreasonable or abusive fear of homosexuals and in current use it typically implies or asserts and active hatred. In so far as this is true I wonder what the causes are. I do not have experience of a great number of homosexuals but I do find they have a common quality of creativity and also a sense of humor.

I have always joked that every woman should have at least one gay male friend. They are no threat as they have no sexual interest in a female and they can be fun to be with. I wonder if us heterosexual males are actually jealous of the free emotional expression that homosexual people show. English men particularly older men are not known for their emotional spontaneity or ability to share commerce so this could increase any tendency for jealousy.

I don’t think the politicization of sexuality as in the LGBTQ movement helps the cause because of the hostility and accusations by members of this movement against those who question their precepts.

Surely it is possible to have a good friend of the same sex and enjoy a warm and cozy relationship which could involve hugging, sharing, good chemistry, without what I see as the rather contrived appurtenances of an actual sexual relationship involving the sex organs, oral sex, anal sex.

I admit freely that this is a world about which I had little experience and no understanding and I’m not sure whether I want to have understanding of it. This probably marks me out as a bigot, so be it.

Yesterday I came across a book by John Stott, a well-known minister and preacher At All Souls  Langham Place London entitled ‘Same Sex Relationships’. In this he states the traditional let it be said tried and tested view of scripture. I ordered the book and it arrived today

I have found a very interesting academic article by Eleanor White way and Dennis are Alexander called understanding the causes of same-sex attraction. It shows that the situation is far from simple and anyone interested I recommend you have a read using the link here

The whole thing does beg a question, and that is our use of the word relationship. Are wed saying that without sex a person cannot in a relationship. Do we equate the two words? If so this is a major semantic faulty I would suggest.   Why do we have to make the sexual act itself rather than the chemistry between two people  the criteria? It seems a bit limiting to me putting it mildly.

I would have thought a more useful path is to identify what we mean by a human being rather than putting labels on ourselves such as lesbian, gay, queer, straight, trans. I think these are attempted descriptions of sexual aberrations rather than anything that will lead us forward into peace of mind. I believe that the term ‘marriage’ should only be applied to that union between a man and a woman with all that implies.

I think same-sex so called marriages could lead us along a tricky path in the long term especially if people decide to adopt a child. What sort of messages does this give to a growing impressionable being that there are somehow two male parents. What long-term psychological damage if any will be caused in later life?

Before anyone of a different sexual disposition wants to jump down my throat at this point please note I have no judgment platform as such, I’m just passing on a series of observations and I really would like to understand more. Feel free to comment using the comment box below and start a dialogue and who knows we may all be wiser at the end of the day.